Dieting & Dating Advice

Cheat on your boyfriend or girlfriend but not your workout!!


Dieting And Dating AdviceThis page is LOADED with tips, secrets, and advice for ANYONE and EVERYONE that is currently trying to lose weight and change his or her very unhealthy eating & exercise habits, all while being in a relationship, married, or even dating around!! Before I say anything though, please know that I don't really believe in that quote at the top!! Haha but that is the attitude that you need to have towards your weight loss goals if you really want to succeed!! You must put your diet first (or at least close to first) in all of your decisions regarding going out to eat and other dating activities. Your partner should respect that too, and consider your diet when making decisions. If you are not able to stick to your weight loss plan without constantly getting in fights, then he or she is probably not the right person for you. It's time to bail!! It's a little more complex if you are married though!! ;)

One of my favorite quotes is that "You can't love someone else until you love yourself." Some people don't really buy into that statement, but I find it to be true for me personally. You can't really love somebody else as much as he or she deserves if you are constantly thinking about your weight problem and are unhappy with yourself. It is a fact that things get more complicated when you let other people get involved. The only person that you can truly count on all the time is yourself, and personal characteristics about you only change if YOU are self-motivated and want to change. If you are in a relationship, and you think you can rely on your significant other to help you lose weight, you are going to fail eventually. It definitely helps if 2 people go on a diet together, but at the end of day, sticking to your diet & exercise plan depends solely on you!!

As a man that did not go on my first date until I was in college, lol I have no problem saying that I don't have a ton of dating experience. I do however know what it is like trying to lose weight while in relationships. It is not easy, especially when the girl's mom is a really good cook!! Below, I have compiled a good, pretty complete list of tips for people trying to lose weight while in a relationship, married, or just dating around. Follow this advice, & you will be successful!!

Advice For When Going On Dates!!

► The easiest way to avoid a high-calorie date is to plan an active date activity!! Going miniature golfing, bowling, jogging, on a bicycle ride, hiking, or some other activity can be fun. Even going to the dog park can be a good idea if you have a dog. Dates don't always have to involve eating & drinking!! Many activities are free!!

► If you are just starting to date a person, and you are going out for a meal, thanks to the internet, you can look up the menu items & nutrition facts for most of the food there. This especially works great if you don't want to seem like you are picky & indecisive in front of the person. Spend a few minutes picking out something healthy beforehand, and ordering will be easy when you get there.

► Hopefully this is pretty obvious to you, but if you want to lose weight, you don't need to order an appetizer or dessert during your meal. There really is no such thing as an appetizer or dessert that is actually healthy for you. This can be awkward though on a first or second date. Ladies, if the guy asks if you want either an appetizer or dessert, just politely say "No thank you." Chances are that he is just asking you to be nice so that it does not seem like he is cheap. If he still insists, he is trying way too hard to show that he is a nice person. Gentlemen, you should still ask if she wants to order an appetizer and dessert just to be nice. This can also work in your favor too... if she says yes to an appetizer, orders a nice entree, & gets dessert on one of your first dates, there is a 98% chance that she is either way too high maintenance or she probably has another date planned with somebody else later that week. It's time to bail!!

► Eat a small snack before the date!! Just like going to the grocery store, it's not smart to go to a 1st or 2nd date starving. Eat a serving of almonds or an apple about 20-30 minutes before arriving. This will help keep you from overeating & make you a little more confident.

► Most importantly, just be honest. If you can't be yourself around somebody, then the two of you obviously won't end up in a healthy relationship. You should be able to tell the person that you are wanting to lose weight and get healthier. That person should fully respect your feelings if he or she really likes you. To be honest, that person should be pretty excited about hearing that because you will only get sexier!! lol that is like buying a low stock and then having it skyrocket in value!! Haha if that person does not feel that way, he or she is probably not very active and into the same things that you are. If you are an active person, you most likely don't want to date somebody that loves video games. Find an active person like you!!

Losing Weight While In A Relationship!!

► Keep up with your regular exercise schedule. When you're in a relationship, you don't want to sacrifice the things that are important to your own well-being, so make time for your 30 to 60 minutes of exercise a day (or more!!). Get up early before work or steal away during lunchtime so you don't feel like it's taking away from time spent with your significant other. Don't cheat  workouts!!

► Exercise together!! Meet at the gym after work, play tennis or raquetball, go for a walk or run together, do the same fitness class, or join an athletic team together. You don't have to be great athletes. Just have fun & be active together. They say couples that are able to exercise and stay fit together stay together a lot longer!!

► Spend more time being active together instead of sitting on the couch watching movies & TV. You don't have to be really athletic, but you can tour a museum, take a walk in the park, hike in the woods, go swimming, or go for a bike ride (active date activities).

► Sign up for a healthy cooking class together so you can both learn new ways to make delicious dishes that are full of nutrients but not full of saturated fat, simple sugars, cholesterol, and empty calories.

The Best Dieting & Dating Advice Ever!!

Now it's time to hear the advice that you have been waiting to hear, Randy Santel's advice!! Haha a lot of the stuff up above came from different websites that I thought sounded good. They are very good tips for normal couples and people just wanting to lose a few pounds. Now it's time to get serious though!! Here are the things that I've learned while trying to lose weight while in a relationship:

► Your sigficant other MUST fully support your decision to lose weight!! This is the largest problem for people (especially me) trying to lose weight. While you are on a diet, your partner cannot be eating whatever he or she wants to, especially around you. A person's will power is only so strong. Even the strongest people can collapse at the wrong moment if the right food or drink is placed in front of them. Before you start your diet, tell your partner about it!!

► This is going to sound sexist, but I don't mean it to be. This works the other way around too. This has happened to me and many other guys that I know. I'm sure it happens to some girls too though. Many times, especially for girls that don't exercise much, the girl will start to feel down about herself because her guy is working out & she is not. Therefore, she starts "emotional eating" and she unknowingly tries to bring her guy down with her. I was working out one time at my apartment while my ex was sitting on the couch watching TV and eating brownie batter. Immediately after my workout, she asked if I wanted to sit with her & have some brownies!! My buddy once told me that his girlfriend at the time once offered him ice cream right after his workout. This is a lose-lose situation for everyone. If the guy gives into her, he is then eating something he is completely not supposed to eat after a good workout. He is also rewarding a negative behavior, so she will just continue to do it again in the future. If the guy says no like he should, the girl will start to have an even bigger "pity-party" that he has to deal with about her feeling fat & mistreated. Like I said, this is a no-win situation for everyone!!

► To keep your relationship & your diet both successful, you need to address problems when they happen so they can be quickly corrected. If you are on a diet, and you feel your partner just did something that offended your weight loss plan, tell him or her so that it can be fixed. Letting your feelings continue for a while only makes things worse. A few things have happened to me that offended my diet, but I thought it was a better idea to just save the situations so that I had some leverage during the next fight or argument. This does not work well!! haha it would have been better if I had just addressed the situation earlier when it happened.

► This is for guys!! From the start of your first date, the girl has been trying to "train" you, and hopefully you know that. When you can, especially if you are on a diet, you have to find ways to "train" her back!! Lol if she chooses a restaurant with a lot of healthy options for you, or if she cooks your favorite meal using heathier ingredients, do something free like washing her dishes the next day, and then tell her thank you. Make sure she knows you did it to thank her. There is no such thing as a guy doing something for a girl "just because!!" Even if you say you did something just because you love her, she won't take it that way, especially if you just did something to piss her off. Find cheap ways to "train" your significant other when he or she does things to really help promote your weight-loss goals.

► THIS IS IMPORTANT!! If you are going to remember only 1 thing from this page, make it this one!! DO NOT buy your dieting significant other candy & unhealthy foods as a present!! Easter, Halloween, birthdays, Christmas, and other significant events are traditionally considered good times to give a little candy as a present. DO NOT do this if your partner is losing weight!! I was on my diet a few years ago, and I received a present for Easter. She had my apartment key at the time, and I came home to a surprise of over $40 worth of my favorite candies in a big basket. Again, this is a lose-lose situation for everyone. She wasted her money on a present that I absolutely hated, & I really could not do much about it. At the time, I had pretty weak willpower, and I knew that I could not tell her I hated the present. Needless to say, that relationship went south pretty quickly after that. I have learned since then. A few months ago I received a few bags of candy as a present, but luckily she left the receipt in the bag!! After she left, I brought the candy back & used the money to buy her flowers!! I felt pretty smart that day!! It's okay to buy a small candy bar for the person maybe once a month, but other than that, be creative and choose other presents.

► Another tough situation sometimes, especially for guys, is if your significant other's parents are really good cooks!! I used to get invited over to eat dinner like 1-2 times per week when I was dating a girl a few years ago. Her mom & stepdad were phenomenal cooks!! One big problem for me was that they usually ate fairly late in the evening. Luckily they typically cooked healthy foods most of the time. The biggest problem though is they they cooked a lot of food, and it was a family of skinny girls, and the stepdad did not eat much. Haha this meant there was always a lot of food left so I never had to worry about portion sizes. I typically always overate!! In situations like this, you just have to make smart decisions. If you need to, eat a snack before you go over for dinner. You can also just make a rule that you will have only 1 plate & you won't get seconds. Also, try to limit the size of your dessert, no matter how delicious it is. The more you eat, the harder you have to exercise the next day!! ;)

► In a relationship (definitely marriage too!!), the very best-case scenario is for the both of you to go on a diet at the same time. Then you both are able to motivate eachother to continue without "cheating." It's easier to pick restaurants, meals, & activities. If your partner needs to lose weight, & even if you only need to lose 5-10lbs, plan a diet together and help eachother stick to it. Especially if the guy needs to lose 15-20 and the girl only wants to lose 5-10. Lol girls hate this about guys, but typically the guy will be able to lose the 15 before she can lose the 5!! Diets are even easier if you both will be reaching your goals around the same time. Try it!! :)

Even More Advice From Randy Santel!!

This last bit of advice is just miscellaneous stuff that I have noticed throughout the last few years in my own life, friends' lives, and by reading about other people. This is all from a man's point of view ;)

► Ladies, there is nothing that makes a guy happier & laugh harder after a breakup than for you to go & gain 10-15lbs. At the same time, there is nothing that makes a guy regret breaking up with you more than for you to lose a little weight & get even hotter!! It's not that big of a deal to girls because they are not as into how a guy looks. To upset a girl, a guy has to go get a girlfriend that is even hotter than she is. So ladies remember that. You are allowed to spend one night crying and eating a gallon of chocolate, peanut butter, & chocolate chunk ice cream. The next day though, get to the gym!! Put the guy behind you & focus on the future without him.

► If you want some motivation to stay fit and trim, date somebody sexier than you. This really helps me!! My girlfriend Micaela is absolutely gorgeous!! You can't be "shallow" about it, but it's definitely not a bad thing to look for a person that is already fit, active, & healthy. There is nothing that guys hate more than when a smokin' hot girl walks by holding the hand of some chubby & ugly guy. This helps motivate me, especially as a professional eater. I can't get carried away with all the food competitions & gain a lot of weight, because then my gorgeous girlfriend is walking around with "that chubby & ugyly guy." To me, I feel that it would be selfish for me to gain some weight, but then still expect her to stay in shape.

► Just because you just got married, this does not give you a free pass to gain a little weight. Just because you have been in a relationship for a while, it's not ok to gain some weight. The only free pass to gain a little weight is by having a baby, but that is also not an excuse to stay a little bit bigger forever!! Just like the fact that it is easier to lose weight together, it is also easier to gain weight together. This is a problem for many couples. If two "larger" individuals start a relationship, it's not uncommon for both of them to get a little bit bigger as they become more comfortable with eachother. This is definitely something for you to watch out for to make sure that it does not happen to you and your significant other.

► Relationships are a lot better and more fun if two people are able to keep things fresh & exciting. Once everything starts to become predictable, the relationship gets stale & boring. This happens more & more as couples begin to get really comfortable with eachother. At the same time, it is common for a person in a relationship to care a little less about his or her physical appearance. The person feels accepted by his or her significant other & that he or she no longer needs to impress anybody. This is not good!! You should never get too comfortable with your partner, & you should always continually try to surprise & impress the person so that your relationship grows. If a relationship is not growing, it is dying, and of course you don't want that. Make sure to keep your body healthy for both your partner & yourself!! Your partner will definitely appreciate it!!

► This is for the ladies too!! Guys don't mind dating a girl that is just a few pounds overweight. They do have a problem though with a girl that is very insecure about her weight & constantly complains about it!! Just like you like a guy that is confident, guys like a girl that is confident too. Quit talking about needing to lose weight & just do it!! This goes for guys too, it just does not happen as often.

My Conclusion

If you are with the right person, losing weight while in a relationship really is not that hard as I make it sound up above. Losing weight is tough in general, and being in a relationship does make it harder though. Personally, I failed every attempt during my years between retiring from college football & winning the Spartacus Challenge. I faced a lot of the challenges that I included up above, and I lost. Lucky for me, I was single during the entire time of the body transformation contest. Honestly, I firmly believe that is one of the top reasons that I was able to win. My program was way different than normal people's diet & exercise programs though. I would not have been able to do everything that I did while dating somebody.

Hopefully some of the tips & advice up above helped you think about yourself & the relationship that you are in if you are wanting to diet & lose weight. If you are single, hopefully you have learned from me that this is the time to accomplish your goals!! If you are married, hopefully a few of the notes up above helped you. I am still a few years away from that stage in my life!! I will know more about all that then. I can't imagine how hard it probably is to lose weight with kids!! I am definitely not ready for that yet!! Now that you have read my tips for losing weight while in a relationship, please make sure that you know what to do to actually lose the weight!! Please read my Fitness Training section, my Nutrition & Diet section, and read the rest of my Fitness & Nutrition Advice section. If you have any questions regarding the information above, please contact me!!


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